We all make mistakes. Sometimes you forget your car keys. Sometimes you accidentally leave your lunch at home. Sometimes you piss off your boss. And sometimes you buy some music that you shouldn't have bought. It was 2015, and I was in the middle of my Japanese power metal phase. Now don't get me wrong, I still love lots of bands in that style, but back then I was more eager in my consumption than I should have been. Valthus was one of those bands I encountered. I listened to the Red Sea MV and went ahead and picked it up despite some small reservations at the time. Considering that I've owned this release for almost 4 years and probably have less than 10 full playthroughs, it's safe to say this purchase was a mistake.
Honestly, the review's title is a bit of an exaggeration. I revisited this EP expecting to totally trash it, but it's really not quite that bad. As far as power metal goes, the instrumental work is certainly well above average. You don't get drowned in keys, and there's plenty of good, headbangable material here. The riffs and soloing are well done, and overall the songwriting is more than solid enough. The foundation of the EP is truthfully enjoyable power metal. But unfortunately, the final, crucial ingredient is lacking. There's one, huge major setback this release (and Valthus as a whole) has. It's the vocals.
I am extremely lenient when it comes to vocals. I'm sure I sit through a lot of vocalists that most people couldn't stand. A great vocalist will certainly enhance the experience, but a band can still kick ass for me if their vocals are only average and everything else rocks. So when I say that Valthus has bad vocals, you know they are really, really bad. The band has a guy that goes by the name of "Wat Hagar", and he's sadly not even 1/10th as pleasing on the ears as Sammy Hagar. To put it bluntly, he sucks. But to his credit, Mr. Hagar sucks in a really strange, unique way.
In terms of technique, Hagar's not bad at all. In fact, he's actually pretty good. The guy has a pretty large range and comfortably hits those high notes. What's just absolutely loathsome about his voice is his tone. Listening to Hagar is like listening to a man that was born with a naturally dreadful sounding voice trying to sing. Sometimes you just need to accept that you weren't meant to do certain things. Hagar is the guy who rebelled against destiny and honed his skills in defiance of fate and wiser people around him. Purely on a technical level, the guy can definitely sing. The problem is that no amount of practice can fix such a naturally horrid sounding voice.
So what does Hagar actually sound like? Well for starters, he sounds super nasally. Now, I have a high tolerance for nasally singers and listen to plenty of them myself. But Hagar's approach irritates me and starts getting grating after awhile. Secondly, the Engrish is super extreme. While Hagar still wouldn't be a good singer in Japanese, the English lyrics of Valthus is definitely not doing him any favors here. The pronunciation is really bad, and the guy slurs together all his words terribly. However, the real killer here is just the total lack of any sort of power or masculinity in his voice. Yeah Hagar is definitely male, but he certainly doesn't sound very manly. There's not much strength or vigor in his voice, and his vocal lines just shit there awkwardly on top of the music. There's not that intangible "it" factor that gives you the sense that the guy has a bona fide voice for metal.
Hagar's vocal performance ranges from bad to worse. His midrange is "just" bad. It's not great or anything, but at least I don't find myself wincing. The going starts to get rough when Hagar sings longer lines in the upper part of the register. That's when his tone is the most irritating and grating and things firmly cross over into the atrocious territory. For example, the chorus of Square the Circle is nothing short of horrific because most of it is up in Hagar's higher ranger. On these parts of the EP, you will find your face wincing in disgust the most. Any goodwill that may have been gathered by solid guitar riffs and solos is completely obliterated whenever Hagar decides to hang out up there.
Now if you just listen to a sample or a song, you might think to yourself, "hey it's not really that bad." However, that is exactly the same massive mistake I did. You see, Hagar has this weird ability to get more irritating the more you listen to him. The opener, Red Sea, might not feel so bad, but when you get down to Rise against the Wind, you really just want this guy to shut up already. Good music has tons of replay value. Your favorite albums are the kind of stuff you can listen to over and over again and never get bored. Wat Hagar's (and Valthus's) problem is that he is the exact opposite of this. The more you listen to him; the more annoying he gets. Just listening to the 30 minute EP again for this review was exhausting. Imagine actually listening to a full album of this guy (and it does exist).
Of course, the main take home here is: decent/good instrumentals, horrific vocals. In Japanese power metal, this is not an uncommon thing. On the contrary, there are a ton of bands that fall into that category (i.e. Dragonlance). However, Valthus has bad vocals in a unique way. I don't know if Hagar's variety of bad vocals is better or worse than the standard kind, but in the end it's still pretty bad. If this release had at least a decent singer, I'd probably score it around a 7/10 or so. The instrumental work itself is not awe-inspiring or anything, so it's not like the world is missing out on a huge amount of potential here. But it's pretty good for what it is. Thank god they didn't put a ballad number on here.
Fortunately for Wat Hagar (and unfortunately for power metal fans), the guy somehow got a significant gig upgrade and is now the vocalist for the long-running, Japanese power metal band Concerto Moon. Hagar's attempt at Savior Never Cry is really something has to be heard to be believed. I'm sure longtime Concerto Moon fans contracted PTSD after hearing that take. Nevertheless, Valthus is still marching on. All I can do is hope that somebody somewhere slaps some sense into Hagar and gets him to retire. He's someone that was just not meant to sing.
Rating: 40/100